Confessions of a Facebook Fool

I’ve done a very bad thing.

An inexcusably horrible bad thing.

And I’m not even sure why.

I could blame it on some scary health issues I’m going through right now, or the fact that my husband Ernie is working 10-12 hour days and rarely home. I could even blame it on my narcotic dog who barks incessantly every time the doorbell rings, the garage door opens, or fireworks go off (and that’s been a LOT lately). I could point the finger at COVID or BLM issues or what’s happening in Seattle, Philadelphia and other areas of our country in these hectic days. I could even blame it on the 9^th Circuit Court for declaring the Bible to be hate speech.  

But no, it was me. Me in my “shoot first and ask questions later” mentality, the “open mouth, insert foot” mindset.

I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a cartoon of a political figure. He was sharing his views and a fellow cartoon figure responded with a nasty remark. This wasn’t a political figure I agreed with, so I figured “what the hey” and hit the share button.

That’s how firestorms start.

Someone I knew responded back, that they didn’t agree, and the cartoon was wrong.

I disagreed.

We bantered back and forth, each standing our ground.

I scrolled Facebook and found another meme to back up my point of view and added it to the post.

It got worst from there.

Someone else jumped in, but I stood my ground.

A colleague from work stepped in, and like the idiot I was, I attacked her too.

I don’t know how far it would have gone, but a boss from work called me.

“Shut it down.” He demanded.

He didn’t care about freedom of speech. He wanted the post down, and we would talk later about it.

Grumbling, I complied and deleted the whole sting.

It wasn’t until a few hours later that I realized what an ass I was. The cartoon didn’t even reflect my views. Neither did the meme I’d found. And yet, total fool that I was, I defended them.

I was horrible.

And I was horrified. I had defended a prejudice view, knowing it was wrong. Knowing I didn’t even believe it.

I have no words to describe what I’ve done. Imbecile. Moron. Ass. Jerk. They all seem too kind in the light of the infraction.

Heresy. Yep. That probably comes closest.

And as a Christian, I should have definitely acted better. In one post, I had discredited my core beliefs and dishonored my God. I feel so ashamed. I have no idea how long it will take to undo the damage this one post caused. It may be a badge I will have to wear for a long time to come.

The first thing I did was ask God’s forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t take away the action though, or the consequences.

I told Ernie when he got home. He was shocked. Though he should have, he didn’t yell at me. But I knew he was disappointed.

Twice yesterday, my son Joe asked me if anything was wrong. I was to ashamed to tell him why I looked so upset and merely explained it away as being tired.

I emailed the colleague an apology. I will totally understand if she never responds. What I did to our relationship was inexcusable.

And this will go up on all my social media accounts.

I’m sorry.

I’m so so sorry.

The post had gotten 2 likes and the 3 people who actually responded. Were there others in the wings, watching and reading in silence? I don’t know. I pray to God there weren’t.

Now, I need to call my boss.

I need to thank him for shutting me down and to apologize.